A pint-sized army tank who chews on bones, toys, chair legs, couch legs, table legs, people legs, and anything within jaws reach; is extremely mild-mannered and fairly slow on the uptake; is clumsy and stubborn, this Barry White baritone will have the cops visiting your house regularly.
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An obsessive explorer and mindless noisemaker with a mild learning disability; is independent to a fault and suffers from irritating mood swings; takes criticism badly and has a tendency to get fat, this garbage eater will also be your best friend.
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A shy but friendly creampuff voted "Most Likely to Carry an Inhaler," is co-dependent and requires hourly trips to the powder room; is prone to dreadlocks and nervous scratching, this gentle soul doesn't like to be alone and is a perfect pet for the unemployed.
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A handsome type-A personality with a borderline stalking problem who will play fetch until your arm falls off and spook you with eerie "I see dead people: stares; tends to pout when scholded and is clever enough to pick a lock, this mind-reader will dig the geraniums right out of the pot, guess your next move, and outsmart you everytime.
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A well-mannered and affectionate peacekeeper with two generous helpings of get-up-and-go; loves laps, car seats, sofas, beds and rolling around on your dirty nappies; is prone to mindless chirping and nuclear powered stink bombs, this lovable sport will be devoted to you for life.
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A stout but proud feline chaser who can't help sneezing, wheezing, snoring, drooling, hacking, slobbering, spitting, farting and generally being gross; can be stubborn and pushy, this jowly snorting heavyweight is a real bull in a china shop.
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A spunky and vivacious little minx who is pompous and self-important; tends to be a bit neurotic, is too good to talk to strangers and prone to marathon sessions of high-pitched yapping that can quickly designate you Public Enemy Number One, this strong-willed performer is no sissy.
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A manipulative and stubborn attention-getter usually found in the loving arms of apartment dwellers and debutantes; is agoraphobic and a compulsive bedwetter, this neurotic little creature throws a mean hissy fit and always to be boss.
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An athletic swimmer who likes to be the center of attention; can be moody and brings new meaning to the words "smelly dog," be careful not to be sucked in by this brown-eyed hustler. "Just look how sad I am. You know, my owner never pets me. Or feeds me. I have to live in the closet. Sometimes I cry. Are you going to finish those fries?"
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A dependable and sensible protector with working class mentality; is strong-willed and destructive when bored; will nip at Aunt Sadie's ankles and little Johnny's tricycle and loves to ham it up on social occasions, this lowrider is a big dog in a little suit.
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A squat little creature with Napoleonic delusions of grandeur; is a natural born comedian with bed-wetting tendencies; prefers co-dependent relationships; is a light eater and a cheap date, this courageous little digger is a fiercely loyal friend.
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A stern intellectual and imposing athlete who enjoys chasing after criminals, bad guys, cars, bicycles, people, animals, balls, bugs, wind, imaginary friends, and is the reigning champion of Eat Your Weight contests, this brainy Goliath rules with an iron paw.
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A dependable, eager beaver who likes to keep in shape; a social butterfly with a compulsive oral fixation; can suffer from severe loneliness, this natural blonde is best known for its feathered Farrah hair and serious need for deodorant.
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An energetic and feisty feline chaser with a high-pitched and soul-scraping yap; has a devilish "nanny nanny boo boo, you can't catch me" attitude; is both clever and bossy and never likes to share, this holy terror can make mincemeat of your garden.
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A loyal, but needy animal who craves attention in the worst possible way; has been known to chew through walls and eat cement blocks for lunch; is thin skinned and prone to destructive behavior when slighted, this tireless Pollyanna is a glutton for love.
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A loyal, but needy animal who craves attention in the worst possible way; has been known to chew through walls and eat cement blocks for lunch; is thin-skinned and prone to destructive behavior when slighted, this tireless Pollyanna is a glutton for love.
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A rodent-sized creature with a lion-sized heart; is clean and fresh if you don't count the puddle-stained carpet; demands constant coddling and is quite the cutup with bossy barking and colossal attitude, this spunky small fry is a loyal, one-person pet.
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A true original with a middle-of-the road temperament; generally has a clean bill of health and is easy on your wallet; tends to be smarter than the average Joe and has no pretensions; taking in this happy accident is an act of good will that pays off in spades.
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A dependable and good-natured waddler that sleeps away the bulk of the day; is stubborn and manipulative and keeps you in shape with constant vacuuming; this chubby chunk of flesh will keep you laughing and send you running for the hills with is silent-but deadlies.
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A muscle-bound and strong-willed powerhouse with anger management issues; will chase anything that moves, suffers from unholy gas and needs reminding to "Say it, don't spray it," this aloof and beautiful force of nature will likely eat your sofa.
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A mustachioed Teuton who makes an excellent babysitter and enjoys running, hiking, long walks on the beach and looks swell in a cardigan; is suspicious of strangers and defensive about being called an "old coot," this faithful pup has been immortalized by the likes of Rembrandt.
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An aristocratic and friendly little peacock that tends to be spoiled rotten and is a hairdresser's nightmare; can't be left alone more than a few hours unless you prefer going barefoot; this stubborn Buddhist would be better off in training pants.
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A mangy little furball that demands constant trips to the salon; a bossy and opinionated rat with slightly finer bone structure; this independent and spunky afterthought is a wonderful companion and the perfect accessory for your fanny pack.
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